It’s really hard for me to admit that this trip isn’t what I wanted it to be. I felt like this was supposed to be a soul searching journey, and it’s become a series of stops and worrying about if I’m going to get to my next stop safely, and how much I feel restricted by having the trailer with me. If it was just me, and the things I’d need to camp/live in the car, with my boat on top, I feel like I could go anywhere. Instead, I’m lugging this huge weight behind me that’s dragging me down, literally and figuratively.
I feel like I left in such a hurry that things weren’t set. I was afraid I’d never leave if I didn’t jump. Quantum leap is what Kate called it, April 30th.
There have been so many little obstacles that have popped up and it’s wearing on me. I didn’t expect things to go perfectly, they never do, but I thought I’d be having at least some fun…
- needing to get an additional piece for the hitch so that the trailer wasn’t sitting so low
- spending the first night in my car in Benton Harbor
- getting to New Buffalo and not being able to get into Lake Michigan
- Indiana Dunes park didn’t pan out, spent the night at a Love’s Travel Stop (these have become my saving graces and a great place for a private bathroom and shower at 15 bucks a pop)
- I stopped at the first place to hike on the list and couldn’t find the waterfall that I had read about.
- Tried to camp at Paul Wolff outside of Chicago, but everything was so wet, I ended up leaving. I slept in my car in a Walmart parking lot, feeling safer, but awful about losing the money.
- I scrapped the second hiking stop in IL (mostly due to not finding the waterfall the day before)
- A couple more days in the car in various spots, then I get to my first campsite on the river…only to get stuck trying to get out of the driveway because it was too steep.
- Found a new place, things seemed to be going well, then the weather turned.
- The camper got a flat tire from driving over a screw that fell out of itself somehow.
- I had the campground guy help me, as I was without an impact driver and socket set.
- Made it to get the original tire repaired and switched back out from the spare, but felt so depleted that I broke down and got a hotel for the night.
- I woke up in the middle of the night, having left the tv on, hearing about upcoming tornados through Iowa.
- Spent the next day getting across the state and spending another night in the Sam’s Club parking lot.
- Got into Nebraska and I was able to meet up with a friend from school in Lincoln, but on the way to my stopping point for the night, I was waylaid by that storm.
Note: Here is a link to a youtube video from a trucker who was driving through that same storm
- I took the next day to get across Nebraska, as I didn’t really have any more stops planned and wanted to get into Wyoming. I drove later than usual, and was able to get some great sunset shots, but the drive was pretty difficult. Obviously as I get into the mountains, things are going to get tougher.
- I decided that I had spent so much time in the car and in the cities, I wanted to actually camp again, so after looking at the map, I made a detour to Curt Gowdy State Park in Wyoming. I feel like this stop was the breaking point for me.
- I hadn’t looked at the terrain map, and I wasn’t prepared for the reality of the park and the campsites.
- I’m still learning how to drive and maneuver this thing, and when I get frustrated, I just leave it hooked to the vehicle and sleep in the car.
- It’s not easy to find a spot to camp when I’m really doing a mixture of the types. I have a trailer, so I need someplace to park it, but I don’t sleep in it. I have a tent which is a huge effort to put up and set up the hammock inside or I can hammock camp in the trees with a tarp. None of those are strictly one or the other, so I have a hard time finding sites.
- Somehow, I also lost the keys to the camper. The guy had given me multiple keys, some of which worked in some of the locks, but I just hadn’t gotten around to replacing them yet.
- I had to break the lock open on the back, so I could get the galley open and cook food, but I couldn’t access my tools inside the main cabin to fix the broken lock.
- I was now out in BFE Wyoming with no signal feeling completely trapped. Kate explained it later as Flight, Fight, and Freeze all at once.
I managed to do some backtracking and make my way back to Cheyenne without the trailer popping open on the 40 minute drive. I headed directly to a store and purchased new locks, and also stopped for some real food. (I’ve mainly been eating cans of stew or beans) It was Kate’s birthday yesterday, so we scheduled some time together, and because she’s home to me, I was able to let it all out.
This is supposed to be amazing, and instead it sucks.
It’s not been at all what I wanted or pictured
I really hate that I’m so unexcited about this trip right now
I needed to regroup, badly. With Kate’s help, we booked me two nights at a hotel in Fort Collins, Colorado. I needed more things, more options, and frankly – less ranch-y cowboys.
This really has felt so good. Bathing on a regular basis, and being able to rest without constantly worrying about the safety and security of not only myself, but the car, boat and trailer. (I can look out the window of my room and see them).
I need to make some changes, and I’ve felt guilty about resting for this day and a half. A lot of times what I don’t realize is that my brain is working on these problems and coming up with solutions for them, it’s just doing it as a background process. After so much time running in the foreground, it needs a break.
I’m hoping to get some deep sleep tonight, so when I wake and stretch tomorrow morning, I can feel confident that I will make the best decisions that are possible with the information I have at the time.
I’m feeling tired, so I’m going to let my brain get some healing rest and not panic that I need to check out at 11am
-A